The Drinking Party
by blackerthanbleach
Summary: When Aizen throws a drinking party for the Espada and the Shinigami, Grimmjow decides to make a move on Ulquiorra. And Ulquiorra kind of...loves it.   GrimmxUlqui. Romance/Crack Fic


"CAN'T YOU SEE-EEE-EEE, YOU BELONG WITH MEE-EEE-EEE!"

"Gin- please- please stop- my ear drums-"

"STANDING BY OR WAITING AT YOUR BACK DOOR, ALL THIS TIME, HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW-"

"Oi! Shut the _fuck _up!"

"BABY-Y-Y, YOU BELONG WITH- AUGH-" there was a muffled screeching noise, and Gin Ichimaru lay passed out, face down on the floor. Nnoitra had hit him over the head with a metal hammer that he'd somehow produced from out of thin air. Grimmjow took a deep breath. "What in the name of _hell _was that bastard fuckin'_ thinking_!" he asked, rubbing his throbbing ears. It'd been an hour, and most of the espada had been forced to witness Gin's horrifying singing. Even Aizen had to leave the room in a few minutes. The rest of them, minus Tosen, however, weren't so lucky, as the bastard had locked the door behind him. They thought after a while, Gin would shut up, but he just _wouldn't stop. _He had somewhat of a fetish for old pop songs. Grimmjow had a feeling Nnoitra had slipped crack into the man's tea, again.

Szayel pulled a finger out of his ear and winced at the dark blood dripping off of his nails. "My ears were actually bleeding." he commented. Then, when he thought no one was looking, he slipped a drop of the blood into a bag labeled "**Experimentation." **

Ulquiorra let out an uncharacteristic sigh of relief, closing his eyes slightly in disdain."That was simply horrific." he commented in a monotone, his eyes still lingering on the crumpled form of Gin. All of a sudden, the door burst open, and in popped Halibel. Grimmjow shot her a death glare.

"Where the fuck were you when we were forced ta listen ta this shit?" he demanded to know.

The blonde ignored him. "I have been given orders from Aizen-sama to throw a.. drinking party." She said the last words with an uncomfortable look in her eyes, the only part of her face that was really visible.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes. "That fruitbox? No one really listens to him anyways- aaaah!" He was interrupted by a blow to the head by Ulquiorra. "What the fuck was that for, ya fuckin' emo bat!" he yelled, stumbling.

The 4th espada kept a straight face. "_I_ listen to Aizen-sama. He is my world, the light at the end of my tunnel, the blue violets to my red roses, the black to my white, the green to my eyes, the silky straightness to my hair-"

"Not this again!" Gin moaned from his position on the floor. Nnoitra slammed a foot into his head, making him loose consciousness again. "An' stay that way." He mumbled, rolling his eyes. "Now why the hell do we have to do this drinking thing?"

Halibel shrugged. "I do not know. But Aizen-sama-"

"AIZEN SAMA. THE WHITE ON MY SKIN, THE LOVELY BLOOD RUNNING BENEATH MY VEINS, THE CHEESE TO MY CRACKER-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YA IDIOT!" Grimmjow yelled, throwing a chair at the ranting arrancar. Ulquiorra shut up as the chair hit him, but didn't seem affected by the impact at all. He shook his head, closing his eyes. "My deepest apologies." Halibel observed with slightly raised eyebrows as the two arrancars stared at each other for a long moment, with something unfamiliar in their eyes. What was that look again? It was just about to cross her mind when a horrible screeching noise started up from the end of the room.

"MY LONLINESS IS KILLING ME! I MUST CONFESS; I STILL BELIEVE! YEAHHH! WHEN YOU'RE NOT WITH ME I LOOSE MY MIND, GIVE ME A SIGN!"

"What- what in Aizens name is _that?" _Halibel groaned, clamping her tanned hands over her ears.

"HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!"

"My fuckin' pleasure." Nnoitra growled, kicking Gin in the head once again. The silver haired shinigami passed out, once again.

Halibel cleared her throat. "Anyways... I have had some arrancars bring in a wide variety of sake. We will be drinking and.. dancing to some sort of music. Aizen-sama also instructed me to invite the soul reapers over to celebrate with us."

Grimmjow's mouth fell open. "The _soul reapers? _What the hell! You're not fuckin' serious. They're our enemies! And we're here havin' a party with them!" he yelled. It was impossible that Aizen wanted to them to have a drinking party with that carrot topped shinigami and his weak friends.

Grimmjow turned to Ulquiorra. "Oi, since you spend so much time kissing Aizen's ass, do ya know what the hell is goin' on?" he asked. The pale espada shook his head. "Aizen-sama has not informed me of any... _drinking parties _with the shinigami trash."

All of a sudden there was a high pitched chuckle from behind the gathered espada. Grimmjow whirled around. "Ya gotta stop laughing like that Nnoitra. It's fuckin' creepy."

The tall arrancar just licked his lips, his serpentine tongue flashing from behind his teeth. "I must have slipped some crack into Aizen's tea by accident, when I was doing the same to Gin. I think that's why he's acting so strange."

Ulquiorra sighed, putting a slim, white palm over his face in disdain. "What are we going to do, now?" He asked, his voice only slightly annoyed.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes. "Well we gotta follow his orders."

There was a knock on the door, and Halibel turned around. "It must be the shinigami."

The door swung open before anyone could get it, and there stood Ichigo Kurosaki, wielding his zanpakuto. "GETSUGA-"

"WE AINT GONNA FIGHT YOU, YA IDIOT! PUT THAT SHIT DOWN!" Grimmjow growled, crossing his arms in extreme irritation. "This little shit thinks he can barge in an' try to kill us like that? Damnit, we just wanna have a fuckin' drinking party." He muttered.

A large breasted, strawberry blonde popped out from behind the orange haired boy. "Did someone say drinking!" She asked, grinning.

Ichigo turned around, glaring. "Stop, Rangiku, it could be a trap."

Halibel spoke up, then. "Please put your weapons down. It is not a trap. The quinta espada decided to drug Aizen-sama, and he has now requested us all to come together for a drinking party. We must follow his orders, so it would be best if you could cooperate with us."

"COOPERATE! COOPERATE WITH THE ENEMY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS!" Ichigo yelled, stepping forward, his amber eyes flashing. "I'm about to kill all of you-" he was interrupted by a kick in the shin. "Shut up, baka, obviously they aren't gonna harm us! I mean look at them!" A short, dark haired girl hissed. Grimmjow rolled his eyes, assuming it was that Rukia Kuchiki girl. She was a weakling; now her brother; _that _was a good fight. He'd heard stories about Rukia and the Ichigo boy and their unrequited love or whatever- (blame Orihime Inoue, when she was held captive in Hueco Mundo she wouldn't shut the hell up.)

Anyways, the Rukia girl was right. Grimmjow was angrily leaning against the wall, Gin was passed out and there was drool coming from his (still smiling) mouth, Nnoitra had his foot on Gin's head so he couldn't get up if he wanted to, Ulquiorra was sitting in his chair looking bored, and Halibel was trying to wake up Starrk, who was asleep, sprawled out on the floor. They weren't exactly ready to fight.

Rangiku suddenly squealed excitedly from behind Ichigo. "Look! They're bringing sake! And music! And food!"

It was two weak arrancars, who were entering the room with a cart full of things for the drinking party.

"Sweet, lets do this!" Another voice called. It was that boy with the red pineapple hair, Renji Abarai.

And that was how the soul reapers and the espada ended up having a drinking party together.

* * *

><p>2 hours later, Grimmjow was drunk out of his blue haired mind. He stumbled around the room, pushing past a red haired man and a black haired man with a scarf making out heavily on the floor. <strong>(ByakuyaRenji, anyone? ^.^)**

The tall, muscular man's eyes landed on Ulquiorra, and he scoffed. "Little emo brat.." he muttered. He collapsed on the couch the green eyed arrancar was sitting on, glaring as hard as he could. "You aint drinkin'?" he asked, wondering why the smaller man had no bottle in his hand, and seemed as stoic as always. "Someone sober needs to report to Aizen-sama to tell him how the party went." Ulquiorra explained in a monotone.

Grimmjow snorted and sprawled out across the couch, his head falling straight into Ulqiorra's lap.

"Get off me, trash."

Grimmjow didn't reply, just stretched and licked his lips subconsciously. "He's kind of cute.. like.. a big cat.." Ulquiorra mused, studying Grimmjow's sleepy face. His fingers went, of their own accord, to run through the taller mans' silky blue hair. Grimmjow nuzzled his face into Ulquiorra's stomach and moaned softly.

The green eyed arrancar froze at the sound. A pale pink tinge coloring his cheeks slightly, and only Halibel, who was observing the couple from across the room, noticed.

Grimmjow's tanned arms suddenly wrapped around Ulquiorra's neck. "Ya know, yer _so _hot, Ulqui. Can I call ya Ulqui? I like it. Ulqui. Yer really sexy, Ulqui. But yer so annoying sometimes. Why ya gotta suck up to Aizen likes he's better than _me_? I mean, I'm cooler than him, I gots more swagger. An' so da you, of course. We should rule the world, Ulqui. Well maybe if ya stopped bein' so depressed all the time. I mean, ya got me, why are ya depressed? Maybe if ya were happier, ya'd be even sexier than now! Like.. hehe.. like a _super swaggalicious _sexy hot person! That'd be so fuckin' hot. Anyways, we could rule the world an' have pizza all the time. I like pizza, had it in the real world. I think ya'd like it, too. Maybe it'd make ya smile. No, ya know what I really wanna do? I wanna make ya moan underneath me-"

Ulquiorra quickly placed a slim, pale hand over Grimmjow's mouth, his cheeks now a fire engine red.

"Grimmjow, I-"

But he was silenced as Grimmjow's lips crashed upon his. Ulquiorra froze from shock, tasting mint and cookie dough and something slightly spicy that was _all _Grimmjow. And before he knew it, he was kissing back. Grimmjow straddled Ulquiorra on the couch, their arousals pressing against each other.

Grimmjow ground his hardness into Ulquiorra, and the green eyed arrancar's hands shot into Grimmjow's hair as he moaned slightly, coming alive with the taller mans touch. Their lips moved back together, this time Ulquiorra getting lost to the other mans lips, feelings he'd kept hidden for so long coming out again.

They pulled away from each other, panting slightly. "Grimmjow, we can't do this... you're drunk." Ulquiorra murmered, gazing into cerulean blue eyes.

"Fuck that... I want ya now."

Grimmjow's hands made their way into Ulquiorra's white uniform, feeling the muscled skin of the pale man's chest. Ulquiorra bit his lip, an action that only tempted Grimmjow more. He wanted to make that usually emotionless man beneath him moan, wanted to wrap his mouth around his hardened member, kiss those wet lips, feel, _taste. _

Grimmjow's fingers reached the silky skin of Ulquiorra's right nipple and he rubbed it teasingly, making the man gasp and pull Grimmjow's hair harder.

"Fuck..." Grimmjow muttered, unzipping Ulquiorra's uniform top fully. He licked a trail from Ulquiorra's collarbone down his chest and to his nipple, sucking hard. "Moan for me, Ulqui."

Ulquiorra let out a soft whimper that he quickly stifled. However, he couldn't resist the long, low moan that came from his lips when Grimmjow's fingers pressed slightly on his rock hard cock.

"Grimmjow," Ulquiorra panted. "Nnn.."

"HELLO EVERYONE! ENJOYING THE PARTY!"

Ulquiorra shot up, zipping his uniform back up quickly. "Aizen-sama. The party has been fine, thank you."

Aizen took a look at Ulquiorra's red lips, messed up hair, and ruffled uniform. His eyes slid to Grimmjow who was looking slightly dazed on the couch. Then he smirked widely. "I'll take my leave now."

He left quickly, and the commotion of the party continued. Ulquiorra took a moment to compose himself, then turned back to the blue haired man on the couch.

Grimmjow was passed out, drunk. Ulquiorra shook his head, a rare half smile forming on his still pink face.

Then he sonido-ed off to take a cold, cold shower. They'd continue this tomorrow... he'd make sure of it.

* * *

><p><strong>Fin ^_^<strong>

**So that was it... I just wanted to publish something really quick, because I haven't written in a while! School has been taking up my time :( **

**This was part crack, part romance. I know it wasn't that good, I was kinda wincing when I reread it. No flames, please R&R. **


End file.
